"A circuit 2 years successful the readying has unravelled successful 9 days of cricket," he wrote successful the UK Times.
He did praise the grittiness shown by England connected the last day, peculiarly Jos Buttler, whom helium compared to the large Geoffrey Boycott.
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"Although a beating competitory bosom is the minimum anticipation of an planetary team, England carried the crippled far, acold deeper than galore thought," helium said.
"The borderline of decision was a mighty one, and the warring tone connected the past day should not camouflage the information that England, for the 2nd clip successful arsenic galore Tests, person been out-thought and outplayed.
"Once again the batting has been wholly underwhelming and they look a returning and refreshed Pat Cummins adjacent arsenic Australia announced an unchanged squad for the Boxing Day Test. Root's Ashes dreams bent by a thread."
On BT Sport, Matt Prior and Sir Alastair Cook recovered it hard to find positives successful a lucifer that England truly targeted arsenic a win.
"They've made excessively galore mistakes successful these 2 games," Cook said.
"Fielding isn't arsenic bully arsenic Australia's, the decision-making disconnected the tract to get to this constituent hasn't been bully enough, and you can't spend connected a circuit similar this to marque mistakes."
Buttler treads connected his ain stumps
Prior said that sloppiness successful some the tract and with shot successful manus was unacceptable astatine this level.
"Dropping 7 catches successful 2 Test matches, that's a immense negative," helium said.
"Taking wickets with nary balls, the magnitude of nary balls that person been bowled by this England team. It's those elements that volition beryllium arsenic frustrating arsenic nary leaving arsenic good arsenic the Australians, oregon bowling a spot fuller and everything else."
"People speech astir 1 per centres, taking catches? That's a 20 per centre. England aren't astatine a spot wherever they're focusing connected the 1 per cent here, 1 per cent there. Get your 20 per cent close first."
Both slammed the squad enactment process that saw Jack Leach hung retired to adust successful pugnacious conditions successful Brisbane, portion past not picking a spinner astatine each successful Adelaide connected a wicket renowned for having a spot of turn.
They were besides dismissive of the thought of Saqib Mahmood, who is successful Australia playing for the Sydney Thunder, earning a call-up to England's Ashes squad up of the Boxing Day Test, saying the problems laic elsewhere.
"I find it rather comic that we're talking astir shipping bowlers in, erstwhile really, we've conscionable spoken astir batting - we request to get much runs," Prior said.
"Where's the speech astir our batsmen? Where's the apical six? Where are runs coming from? I benignant of consciousness similar we request a spot much absorption connected that."
Former Test mainstay Kevin Pietersen requested that everyone spell casual connected England - portion besides slamming them for a "horrendous" display.
"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE conscionable springiness these England cricketers a spot of slack," helium wrote.
"An Ashes circuit is incredibly pugnacious & these are not mean times close now.
"Their batting is horrendous, I know, but spell casual please!"
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